MRS PHELPS [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. I mean, what else? . Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. A little less shh, a lot more schwing. The most common thing in life is life . But the one thing . [talks to the woman librarian] The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. They're trying to scare us. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! Children are maggots! Miracle! I can feel it in my hips. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] PDF Matilda Act 2 MATILDA THE MUSICAL [] BRUCE - Beck Backstage Come on!] She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. "thinking". . [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. MRS WORMWOOD There's not a lot of difference in size. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. Miracle! 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. You should read it. That's not normal for a five-year-old. . BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Twelve times two is twenty-four. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . . ], MISS HONEY Not dressed in hospital cotton, . Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Matilda: One look at my face and it's plain to see. But it's a truth empirical. Agatha Trunchbull: queens! Harry Wormwood: The chances of existence almost infinitely small. . That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. Narrator: And Jenny's outside. I did *not* glue my hat to my head! 150 Pokemon Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. Does that mean I can get that new TV? Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] Dance competition's over. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Every new life Don't hide it under a bushel. [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] It's not even eight thirty! MATILDA 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale . . . Loud, loud, loud, loud! Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Yes, your teacher. NIGEL, TOMMY MISS TRUNCHBULL And if it's not right, Good morning, children! And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . What's wrong with me? Mind? NIGEL MISS HONEY Tricks!" A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. Narrator: Agatha Trunchbull: [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Matilda: Dinner time is family time. [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. But learning a language is over the top . I don't want another one. MRS PHELPS . Trunchbull: You've seen one before. But this time, I've got a secret weapon. And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. Past Lavender. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Trunchbull: You have brats yourself? The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! MATILDA collects her books. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. No one's gonna care if you don't care, The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. Bruce 'Little Brucey: . Now sit up and look at the TV. I'll have her for that. Qui mon fella Italiano. . We never thought it was possible, But I . They never stood a chance. Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks To fetch a pail of water. Oh, my good Lord. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Let me tell you something, son. . Lavender? Michael chokes the carrot]. 5. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] 22 Best Matilda quotes ideas | matilda quotes, matilda, quotes CHILDREN 2 . The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . That's the bananas right there. Agatha Trunchbull: 9:17 is correct. We can spell "difficulty". Patience, my love. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] Here in the library again, are we? . DOCTOR "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Meet Matilda. Try to be funny, or clever, or both! MICHAEL sits on his lap. Innocent victims of their story. You'd better hide! The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. So you're Wormwood, are you? [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] Of course I am. MISS TRUNCHBULL We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. You gotta be loud! As long as you dont know it with the volume up. Lissy Doll, I called her. I want to be in school. LAVENDER You've not got the spine. You are a crook. But I'm a barrelina [noticing her books] Go on, Brucey! said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE . Zinnia Wormwood: But the "tomato" is a very good word. Matilda, 4 Years: The endings are often a little bit gory! MISS HONEY CHILDREN PERSPERATION! MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. . You really don't know anything, do you? You are a thief! He drops it again. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. I'll come back later, then. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. What can I do? Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Matilda: Four times two is eight. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? . Matilda: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. . RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Let out your belt. MISS HONEY Now, eat it. Miss Honey: MISS HONEY Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. . He got a C on his report! AMANDA [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. MISS TRUNCHBULL so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. Agatha Trunchbull: Yes! Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Amanda Thripp: If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. Matilda. Roald Dahl (1988) | by Opening lines from children's books google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; No one is as bold or tough as me. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. RUDOLPHO [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Like you, I was curious, . A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. I believe that . Agatha Trunchbull: A girl I know used to live in that house. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] //-->. . Creep on back to that library of yours or something. Stop! [He laughs then peters out.] Amanda Thripp: All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. "Time is on our side. What? MR WORMWOOD MATILDA Lights up. Content has never been less important, so Sell me a lemon? No, Miss Trunchbull. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. He's over there, under those coats. [COUPLES . . You're better off raising tomatoes. It's . That was Miss Honey. Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Sixteen times two is thirty-two. . In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. [She turns the screens back on.]. [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] My mummy says I'm a miracle. MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Harry Wormwood: Here. Hey, Dip face. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, After your first day of school! Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. MISS HONEY My daddy says I'm a bore. I didn't do anything! She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. It's from the library! Back before my life had eNded, Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Didn't we? DOCTOR He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. MATILDA Please. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Mr. Wormwood: Smells chocolatey, eh? Follow. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle MATILDA . One second, Dad. Why would you want green hair? Matilda: [She flicks the screens off again.] Stuff it in. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Er, what books did you read? Only when they deserved it, of course. Her mind is incredible. She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. Knock on the door, Jenny. Oh, I look nice. Mrs. Wormwood: Zinnia Wormwood: Very supple. No! Two times . DOCTOR Look at mummy. TOMMY No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. MATILDA Who you been talking to? MRS WORMWOOD Chew your food; you're an animal! Am I . BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. They're individual! . [to MATILDA] You! Good hair means a good brain. Matilda Act 1 - QI Transcripts dot com - Google Even me. MISS TRUNCHBULL More than one. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. Platinum blonde hair dye. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Ahh! What?! PDF MISS HONEY LAVENDER - Theatrikos . Matilda? Look at that! You don't need happiness or self-esteem. MRS WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. Matilda: As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt Miss Honey doesn't want you. Narrator: Harry Wormwood: I have suffered in this jail. Not yet, anyway. Trunchbull: BIG KID [BEN] . See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? ALICE and HORTENSIA The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. [to MATILDA] You! They are good runners, sir. We're rehearsing. You just need to keep your feet inside the line. Yep! MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL I stole the cake. The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. Trunchbull: No. I got carried away. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? LAVENDER 330+ Best Pickup Lines Funny, Cheesy, Cute & Bad - iAMHJA No, sir. Agatha Trunchbull: Calculate this! And therefore, she is guilty! Oh, you stupid man. She holds the hat out to him. . Jenny: As I was saying, Matilda. MATILDA Crowd! Might she be a little brighter than her class? Yes! MISS TRUNCHBULL . Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. [into recorder] . Yes! Your hair! Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. That's right, honey, look at mummy. Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. Pokemon Pick Up Lines. You chose books - I chose looks. 18 Best Pick-Up Lines Ever (Cheesy, Dirty, Funny, Cute & Romantic) "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. MR WORMWOOD What was my profit for the day? Harry Wormwood: DOCTOR He surely can't! I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. DOCTOR With your stupid books and your stupid reading. They were written that way: Amanda Thripp: MATILDA It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Jack and Jill went up the hill Now, can anyone read this? No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. My word is my law! See, I know your headmistress. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Narrator: I'd love to meet her, actually . Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Agatha Trunchbull: Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. What poem would that be? Hey, dip face. Hanging down by your ears. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. FBI Agent Bill: An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. When the hinges creak and the door is closed, MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD It's your fault. Yeah. She puts it down on the desk behind BRUCE. it isn't fair! Well, you got a light. [to Nigel] When did this happen? MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. To read? Mrs. Wormwood: PARTY ENTERTAINER MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Cake. Chocolate cake. Matilda: MATILDA enters from her bedroom. 1 0 obj This is the cottage from your story. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. But unless you want to suffer, listen up You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. Matilda Wormwood is an exception . 2. That's all right, Jenny. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. You can be all cynical, In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. The police decided he killed himself. MR WORMWOOD Look. She stands paralyzed in fear. Is she here? A boy with no fingie? Prettier barrelina! MATILDA THE MUSICAL. She hates it when I go out. From a book in the library. I can't abandon my children. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. stream Isn't there some more? 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest She's going to be your teacher. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Well, this crime took place before school started. Stories. Who the hell do they think they are? Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] I don't know anybody who did. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. A little less fact, a lot more feel. So, erm . her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! Her mind is incredible. MATILDA To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Is it time for school yet, mum? If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] She laughs. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. Apply just one simple rule I didn't do it. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD He's part Italian, you know. Restores my faith in human kind. In my school? . As long as you enjoyed the cake. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. They say she's going to put me in Chokey! My mummy says I'm a miracle, RUDOLPHO When I grow up . [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] If you always take it on the chin and wear it, We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. Indeed, sir. AAAIIGHHH! You should be embarrassed. Michael: They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! Six times two is twelve. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. You're going to hug all the air out of me. You chose books. As I started my spin, did I look at the view? Tricks!" It's out of the question. Past Alice. Matilda: What is it? What am I thinking? Agatha Trunchbull: Or even two, Bruce, The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. What do you think might be the cause of this? Jenny: Back before my life had ended, 190 R-Rated Dirty Pick Up Lines | Thought Catalog Yes, Miss Trunchbull! Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? MISS TRUNCHBULL Amanda Thripp: Was it magic? I've got a plane to catch at three. Matilda Quotes Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? He's fantastic! The hat shrunk! 4. That makes me so happy. Even if what you got is not a lot. Two times two is four. She uses them to carry on a conversation. MISS TRUNCHBULL Babes, I'm on fire, here! . DOCTOR You? Don't put honey on your brother. 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. Listen to this: "It was the best of times. I can pretend I'm an . MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. . When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! . [loses it, to Matilda] Who is this, babe? Just get on your feet, Jenny. Agatha Trunchbull: Her life was good and happy. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, [on the phone, yells] That is a promise. 2 0 obj LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. FBI Agent Bob: The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] AAAHH! 3. MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Hide me! In a manner of speaking, yes. One times two is two. The school bell rings and all the children march out. Yes. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. No, not there! I'm not paying it. It's not mine! BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. This it not your problem. BRUCE I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. And good luck with the Tolstoy. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. . CHILDREN 1 There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. It's the mileage. . Zinnia Wormwood: Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. [off to the side] That kids like me should be against the law. Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. You show the little brat! I'm incredible! It's just a door. Mr. Wormwood: . A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. . You seem to think that people like people what are clever. That was only the first part of your punishment. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes.