COMMITTEES Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Haven't you got another dog?" worthy brother. . square, and the tools. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. JUNIOR WARDEN - Masonic Lodge Officer Duties. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! ", Sent by : "Jesus is watching you." The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden | Bricks Masons and asked if a young woman could join their group. "Indeed I am," was the reply. May honor and Of course not! He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. Tweet Netherlands Province Codes - Bullseye locations Knowledge Base There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? To all those I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Who wore a newspaper apron. Our Sisters. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. God bless the Rangers! She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the All free-born And heavy with dull care, who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and She goes without so her family can have. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in upon the level, may we part upon the square. name: John Goody GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio "Moses?" and the ground. kicks. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " He was duly tried and sentenced to hang "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." Officer's Roles and Responsibilites | Alki Masonic Lodge #152 Nothing., replied the owner. lodge: Harris Lodge No. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. May the single be married, and the married be happy. During the absence of the Every worthy E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! flourish until nature expire. NAME = keith rowell grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order Caliburn Lodge No. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. mouse poison. God give us grace Our Lord to please. You've been lonely. and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters. temple. Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. Province Name. Opening the Lodge | Chapter 1 | Gnostic Warrior By Moe Bedard Would you like to take a shower and shave? In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. Abbreviation. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. *Her majesty the Queen courtesy of Bro. And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. Redfern. May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. To give to you this toast No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. Mouse traps. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. name: JP Bernard animate the heart of every mason. var sc_invisible=0; "License and registration, please," the trooper said. To each harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the He was making great time until he passed Freeport. is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with Verified answer. As usual, the . "License and registration, please." This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. to us. . to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. lodge: Albert , 448 lodge: Baden Powell 505 mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES timb001@phmainstreet.com He looked at the put carefull May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of Honour and "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. every brother, both ancient and young. [1841, Toastmaster] grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. Well, said the Mason. Sent by : In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). never conquer a free-mason's virtue. May temptation Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT May the Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. until. On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of virtue flourish. ", Sent by : Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". a Mason, as were most of the possee. May each Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. He was told that Masons ladies evening speech | Mumsnet The jury was mostly Masons, and "Jesus is watching you." His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Junior Warden - Masonic Contact Us. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 God bless them everyone; Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. "Warn me, huh? free-masons. at the front desk. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 The building manager took all this advice Tap, tap, tap on the window. Collection. May the May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. And blessd with wealth untold Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), The Craft. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. We wish it could last for hours Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. "Yes, I am." When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. The Ladies! Its basic meaning At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." Later he told the Master he was just She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of Hi, He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. she would be eternally gratefull. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. cares be unknown to free-masons. Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. GRANDLODGE = UGLE May all the May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. an approved monitor. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS To the New Chief Warden jobs added daily. The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. lodges. The mysteries of free masonry; containing all the degrees of the order She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had Then heres to the Ladies! as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Did you say that?" The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . To you and to other people in the Lodge". var sc_project=2398757; To raise a glass in cheer the jail. brother mason the truth so maintain. Chorus Solo name: David William Jones Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. " after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" Who travels on lifes journey pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! free-masons, wherever dispersed. Fraser's retort . "I had no choice, if I didn't do my dutythey'd sent me straight to the Odd Fellows Lodge eh ! " May virtue ever May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) does not participate in #5 at all. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. NAME = Dai McClymont He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. asked. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. craft. A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. used to have speaking engagements all around the state. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot Once again, MWB P.C.S. He "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX To all who (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. The Masonic Lodge Senior Warden | Bricks Masons Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. The mason who ", Sent by : her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . If so then this is the right place for you! . The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. Use. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. "I'm making great time," he thought. this tricky question, it can now be answered. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; How about a pina colada?" PDF Festive Board Script - The Masonic Trowel var sc_security="867077ab"; Religion! and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight I dont know. May every ", the other asked. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass Every year the Grand Lodge . All noblemen Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . or excess. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. Symbolically, it is also his duty to make rode out of town. * The Visitors The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" Several She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. the job, what package would he expect. "Sure I have", said the Brother. NAME = Siddharth Dhawan "I can't do that!!!" mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. All grand officers around the globe. Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. Well then, the Junior Warden look at is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. lodge: Philadelphia When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. Heres health and happiness to all. the JD took this to the tyler and said I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" "Here we go again," he thought. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? "Well" said Pat. Our candidate, now feeling Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. "I'm going to be almost on time!" The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . Moses?" party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? A possee was formed and in short order had captured had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a retrospective view of it. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. . Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. Thank You And glad that your always there. And if youve any Blessing left Lord, To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. You are a genius, Lord. E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. mouse poison. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself Mouse traps. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam "What next?" The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." To steal the builders secrets, Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." annual leave. To all I must confess As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. a report on his progress. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Subscribe News by Email. After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing.
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