*SPOILERS* Your virtues are all intact. He pauses. Haaah, he says into her shoulder, curled up close to her side, with an arm resting on her waist. But I was locked in a room so I couldn't get out. All of the adults take a shot. Hmmm, Tony says and pins Bruce with his science-stare. Natasha was pouring out shots of vodka, a new bottle she had 'found' while away, and Tony was looking around under the bar for a non-alcoholic drink to give to Peter. Oh yeaaah. Are you trying to get a full set or something? Clint asks, because it's pretty obvious that Thor and Bruce haven't tangoed, and he knows Natasha hasn't slept with any of them aside from Clint, of course, but that's years ago now. Bucky-sexual? Clint offers, and hopes it won't make the Captain even more wistful. When it was Ned's turn, a few people only had one finger left, including Peter. which, to be fair, was a good point. Steve and Bucky were able to fully participate thanks to Thors gift of several casks of Asgardian mead- though he was in New Asgard at present. It was easy. Tony shrugs like it was nothing, his smirk just shy of a full-on shark grin. It's Tony's turn so he said "never have I ever been drunk" Taking a shot. Clint buries the urge to giggle, because whose idea was this, anyway? He's lying with his head in Tony's lap, and Tony plays with his hair while he watches a re-re-re-run of Beverly Hills 90210. I remember!. I was dirt poor in the great depression. We should fight all the time.. Morning.. Also, for that matter, are we actually dating? The words make his stomach churn with nervousness, but he ignores it. #starktower The silence prompts Clint to pry open his eyes. 'f I were, y'd be dead. Never have I ever gone to a sex club, Clint said blandly. After the serum. Clint wonders if Tony and Bruce slept together. So you're not running away? Clint hears himself say after, when he thinks he's about to take a nap. Please consider turning it on! So after a mission, I y'know.. And the minute flinch and tightening of Steve's frame answers the question well enough, doesn't it? "Moving on," Steve cleared his throat and shifted in his seat "Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar." Badly. It's going to be a hell of a ride. Will Peter and Maya get a happy ending? People are allowed to go without underwear if they want, Rhodey scolded mildly. I'm training her." I too find it welcoming, the physical affection of my shield brothers be it erotic or not. He turns to Steve, and suddenly looks really serious. How his teammates were able to bring so many flasks with them unnoticed, he had no idea. Peter didn't know how to respond, the sudden worry etched in MJ's voice throwing him off. this one's for my catty's perpetual nhie rewatch girlies. There's a hand ruffling his hair, fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp, just right and making pleasant shivers run down Clint's spine. Wouldn't you like to know? Clint says easily and takes another swig of Tony's Jim Beam. Clint knows he's feeling his pulse. "We still playing or what? All I asked was that you're honest with me whether it's about us being in a relationship or fuckbuddies or something completely different. Ben Gross was used to being people's second choice. PETER? It's strangely nice. I will not do that, and will be a referee.". The game has not ended yet, has it?, Oh no, not by far! Tony says. So why did the recent interactions between her boyfriend and her friend suddenly make her feel like she was starting all over again? And Nat calls Clint the happy drunk, hah. "Never have I ever gotten a tattoo," Steve says and Ava, Luke, Nova, Danny, Bucky, Scott, and I take a drink. We're best buds. He knows Natasha's bristling at 'buds', but he's just tipsy enough to get away with it for now. This one counts.". No, wait, don't ask Pepper because she knows too much, he adds and waves his hands, stumbling to his feet. But now he has a girlfriend who picked him and his parents are speaking to him somewhat regularly. "Never ever have I worn a chicken on my head," Aunt Nat says and I take a drink and yet again I'm the only one. He couldn't deny this one, and now had four fingers. Natasha plays with the label on her bottle. ', But he did anyway. It had been quite deep and he had to remove the thing himself. "Okay okay, never have I ever not went to midtown high school" Clint said, taking a shot. Your turn, L'oreal, Tony says and claps Thor on the back. Aunt May says and I shrug. Sam, youre up!, Never have I everdone butt stuff in the bedroom. Clint blinks at the guy, who looks completely serious and still sour. Never have I ever been on top of the Chrysler Building, Steve says. Yeah, Clint coincides, because really, half the fun is getting to tell shit you've already done and see who else have done the same. Work Search: We had to steal, Wanda shrugged, seemingly uncaring. You turned to the all too familiar voice, breath hitching in your throat as you met the eyes of a certain brown haired person that played one of your favorite su Decided that I would publish a book of one shots and headcanons that people request! Yeah, well, I didn't listen back then either, did I? Clint points out. 'kay, Clint says, sensing the opportunity to stay; which means he doesn't need to get dressed again, and then fumble for his own room. Anyways I found out about that and followed Toomes to a abandoned warehouse were we fought for like 8 minutes, then he shot the support beams of the warehouse and the entire building came crashing down on me. It's not about lying, Bruce explains. Clint's half tempted to preposition Thor in some fucked up kind of revenge, but he realizes that if he does that, 1) his life will be a Lifetime movie, 2) he'll probably lose another friend, and 3) this time, Nat will definitely kick his ass. "How do I know that?" Maybe he should've done this while clothed. Bruce and Steve sit on the other side, and between the six of them they make a semi-neat circle. Nobody comments on it; it's clear that Steve doesn't expect to drink a lot. Clint's missed this more than he's missed the sex. Not that he could remember, at least. She has a huge crush on a boy named Peter and hopes he likes her back, shes gets bullied by Liz who keeps it suttle so she doesnt get yelled at. Includes: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker, Thor, T'challa, Scott Lang, Rhodey, Clint Barton, Pietro Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange a Abby Romanoff is a normal girl, well as normal as any kid would be if their parent was Black Widow. Clint Barton/ Hawkeye #steverogers She had loving parents, a roof over her head, and enough food to always satisfy her hunger. Clint has got to stop sleeping with the people he works with. Better?. It's a weird, stiff laugh. The building came down and I couldn't leave because we were fighting while the building was burning and I got stabbed through the chest with a metal rod. Please consider turning it on! So I was at the police station eating a bagel when the building just started falling apart. Looks like I was right, he says out loud, and Tony sighs. The thing is, Tony says when Clint walks out of his apartment the same night. Clint's stomach does a weird little tumble that Clint is definitely not going to analyze later, and he folds his arms and keeps his eyes on the screen. No chickening out, Barton, Tony says as he flops down between Clint and Thor. One beat. What could possibly go wrong, right?. Nope, not telling. All stories posted remain the property of their respective authors; Holy shit that was a amazhang thing to come back to, I can't thank you lot enough. Michelle was even prepared to get the bells from her own room. When you're ready, when you're sure, and when there's nobody else in the middle. Clint totally called it. Peter's first time playing Never Have I Ever and Ned is a little shit and almost outs him because he's drunk. No! How will she react? Scott questions and I smirk. With Bucky, I was it was good. He breaks the stare he's got going with Bruce and opts for staring at the floor with a lost look. Oh thats bor- seriously Cap? Tasha? Clint says the next morning, when he finds her in the training room kicking Cap's ass. It was Peter's 21st birthday. "Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to say Petey?" Tony rolls his eyes. I like dames well enough, it's not that. Alone. I'm in a tzatziki mood. All of this comes out on one, long breath, and halfway through, Tony pulls out one of his tablets and starts plotting in a search for nearby Greek restaurants. Sort of. Doesn't erase the question. And you wonder why people ship you two?. Never have I ever gotten drunk before 11am.". Why MJ chose him to 'be in charge', he didn't know. Avengers: Age of Ultron: completed One shot with our favorite trickster will usually revolve around an OC. Which I'm gonna lie in, whether you're in it or not.. Home again by CadenceIX, a good post endgame story with a less than ideal situation for peter as his friends have all aged up. We dated." He starts making Tony coffee in the mornings, when he's up earlier; Tony will shuffle in, usually a couple of minutes later, and inhale the caffeinated drink faster than can be any kind of healthy. "That's for me to know and you to want to know," Ava says and I roll my eyes. The only comfort Abby finds is watching her favorite Lilly needed a job. And I didn't so much pee on his suit as I peed in his bag so technically, I guess I've peed on five suits. He looks down at his rapidly draining bottle. Really, Barton? Natasha mutters and drinks with him. Devi's life is turned upside down after a night at a party. He had changed out of his suit into a baggy jumper May given him for his birthday, joggers and random socks that had been on the floor of his bedroom. Summary: From Phoukabros pen: in the postscript of defeating Thanos, the heroes of Earth spend a little time getting to know each other. tip: buffy gen teen AND "no archive warnings apply". Yeah, that'd do the trick.. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MURDER VICTIM TURNS UP ON YOUR DOOR? Clint usually figures it's total bullshit, but in moments like these, he can't help but see Tony as a kid who just wants someone to pat him on the head and say you did good. Oh, sh- Tony! Immediately he releases the genius, who groans in pain and rolls his shoulder. Random people in classrooms Clint grins and kisses her cheek. Peter, Tony, Clint, and Rhodey all drank. Which is, Clint muses, exactly what he is. Clint chuckled. I've got all the good stuff on my level anyway, so I'll bring it down, and Thor said he'd introduce us to proper mead. His body's pleasantly loose and post-orgasm sore, Tony is a heavy but welcome weight on him, and they haven't said a word since Tony dragged them back into the bedroom. "I am fine, thanks. Because this is still a terrible idea, okay? She huffs a laugh and drinks again. Team Red aka Deadpool, Daredevil and Spider-man 's r'lly good, 'Tasha.. Right! Um, thank you, Clint, he says softly. He stumbles forwards and clutches Clint's door frame to keep upright. Sometimes you have to do illegal things, Natasha said demurely. Wait, Clint says. And they were all wrong. Annnnnd he chews and looks thoughtful, even though they all know it's a bluff. Shut up, this is the last one. How on Earth did you manage that? Natasha says, arms folded against her chest, exuding disapproval of the situation but also a hint of intrigued curiosity that only Clint would be able to pick up on. But Devi Vishwakumar was something else entirely. Tony, Peter, Natasha, Clint, and Bucky all drank. Yeah, let's not, Clint murmurs back and doesn't miss the way Tony's smile widens. Then: Wait so what about when you're not drunk anymore?. Site code originally based on Storyline IO Designs 2002. Tony's eyes widened, how the fuck did that crazy lunatic get someone so sweet like Peter "Jesus Christ, Pete. 'lfway into the Pern bottle? Tony offers. Sam cracked a small smile, glad to embarrass the secret couple. Everyone's got drinks, phones are off, all's well? Tony peers around, jittery with excitement again. irondad steverogers tonystark +8 more # 11 Parley Oneshots by elania:) 1.2M 34.1K 111 Before they started, they all agreed to not let the game get sexual as there was a child present. tip: buffy gen teen AND "no archive warnings apply". You were doing so well. He's on his third glass by now, and most of them are getting foggy. Yall nasty, Sam shook his head. Clint rolls his eyes. He won't be bothered by it. Ask anyone. Um, he says. Team red, only being 16-17 had juice boxes. tip: hetalia f/f sort:kudos, "Never have I ever," Tony says with a wolfish grin, "battled motherfucking aliens.". His name is Percy Jackson. You know Thor loves any and all things that combine alcohol, trading stories, and the ability to learn more about 'Midgardian customs'. Ned shook his head, as if to say; 'No, don't do this, jeez Pete! Finally he reaches the third door on the left and stumbles inside, groaning with general happiness and relief at the ready-made bed waiting for him. Steve, you animal, you.. Here's nice. Clint shrugs and looks over at his boyfriend? But you do care deeply for each other, Thor says and sounds vaguely approving? He pockets the phone but doesn't push Tony away. What Clint doesn't expect is for Thor and Bruce to drink; the first with his usual vigor, the latter with his eyes on the floor and color high in his cheeks. "Never have I ever missed a Decathlon practice.". No, we decided no strings, and then there were strings, strings everywhere except they were invisible strings, you know? I know, Clint. Alright, Tony said, because of course he would take charge of anything alcohol related, everyone have a drink? It wasn't a conscious decision for either of them, which is freaky as hell. Never have I evergone commando, Natasha disclosed. Nat smirked. Ben is reminiscing on his (failed) relationship with Devi. You can't do that!" The fuck, Clint? Ask Pepper. "You know what this line of work is like dad, and it was only one time," I say and the rest of the team nods as we did it together and then sworn not. You could have just asked. And then he pointedly raises his second rum bottle and drinks. Oh my god I cant believe I didnt think of that, Tony looked amazed at the gap in his thinking. "Well, I was trying to make it so Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky could get drunk or like it and I needed to test it out on someone with a super metabolism so I used myself. Always the goddamn red velvet, Clint sighs to himself. "Okay, my turn. And out of those two, only one can be remedied, I'm afraid. Tony sighs dramatically before he straddles Clint and brushes their lips together. "Explain, now. What if shes an Avenger? Awwww, so cute, Tony coos. I know, Legolas, Tony huffs. I dunno, man. You gonna run off every time someone asks if we're dating? He frowns at the ceiling. Just saying., Tony's breath ghosts hotly over Clint's cheek. I mean that literally.. Despite his reputation he has a filthy mouth. "Excuse me" Natasha said. No! Tony snorts. Stupid Sally. We have, Clint says. Dad questions and I can see him starting to turn red. Now he had had three shots, like the rest of the team. Like you and Steve aren't the exact same. I thought we agreed that wouldn't be a good idea., No no, Tony says and shakes his head violently, something that throws him off-balance again. Don't be such a prude, Barton., Clint ignores the fact that Tony doesn't address Natasha like he'd dare. Tony, Natasha snaps. "You knew?" ! Sam cried when Steve took a drink, followed by Bucky, Wanda, Natasha, and Clint. They always did one dumb ass thing for his birthday each year. 's good, Clint slurs into his best friend's shirt. Bruce is still quiet, but he does have a cognac glass in his hands when he sits down beside Steve, a glass containing what looks like Bailey's, or some other kind of creamy liquor. I read about him in your file; you two seemed close.. "Never ever have I gotten shot," Aunt May says and everyone but her, Shuri, T'chall, and Scott takes a drink. Clint figures he'll just steal Nat's drink; he didn't bother to buy anything for tonight, and he doesn't keep alcohol on his floor. "Are we just going to skip over the fact Steve and Bucky have kissed a dude?" It's your choice., Yeah, but Tony makes an annoyed sound and rolls over so he's facing Clint. Clint curses softly once he's gone and picks his bow back up. Maybe it would just be funny. The other just rolls his eyes. (he was the youngest, and fortunately for him, only had one drink). Seriously? Your virtue's pr'tected., Clint, up, Natasha says. It tickles. You really were serious when you labeled Clint an affectionate drunk, weren't you? Bruce says to Natasha, and Clint giggles. Ninja strings.. Possibly from Clint. It's Stark.. Danny, Luke, Ava, Nova, Aunt Nat, Mom, Dad, Uncle Clint, Uncle Thor, Uncle Sam, Uncle Rohdey, Uncle Bucky, Uncle Steve, Uncle Bruce, Uncle Loki, Wanda, Vision, Scott, T'challa, Shuri, and Aunt May. Clint and Tony (and the team) get drunk, fall into bed together, fall out of it, and fall back in again. L'oreal? Of course we do, Clint says and grins. You're not even old enough," Dad questions and Ava smiles and just shrugs. Thor nods, as if pleased with this approval, and empties his jug before refilling it. Drink up, all of whom this may concern, Tony chirrups and takes a long swig. Thor Odinson You didn't wake me up? Clint manages around a yawn and presses into Tony's warm hands. Like a puppy who's peed on the carpet and hasn't been chewed out by its owner yet, but knows what's coming. All of the Avengers and Wade took a shot or for Wade, a sip of a juice box. So why does she keep freezing up when he touches her? Yup, Clint says and squeezes Steve harder. Never have I ever taken it up the ass. And he grins, all teeth and glee, as the rest of the team groan in exasperation. They were all gathered in the communal room to relax. I think I'll join you, doctor, Steve says, before stuttering out not I mean, not in that-, Capsicle, pumpkin, you're good, Tony drawls. Also I miss the sex., Yeah, Clint says slowly. Clint wonders, if Steve figured most of the questions asked would be related to sex (and again, Clint wonders whether the good Cap's still got his super-hymen in place), why he still seems so interested. Peter, how did you even manage that?" #marvel Okay, so this is just a book of MCU (mostly Peter Parker centric) one shots with tropes you've read a thousand times. Okay. It was obviously not a good idea to play 'never have I ever' with his slightly drunk AcaDec team, but Ned had insisted he should join, especially cause; you were recently stabbed, man, you can't even go out even if you wanted to!' I don't have a lot of previous experience, Stark, but no. Of course Spider-Man is a klutz, Sam rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Thanks, he says again. Yes, Tony says with a put-upon sigh. And Peter, whose clothes did you steal? Bucky asked. In the end, he poured out a shot of apple juice and handed it to the pouting teenager. Clint stops sleeping in his own bed, for the most part. Tony hasn't said anything while Natasha and Clint are doing what the rest of the team calls 'that mind-melding thing', but he looks twitchy and excited at Natasha's glare. He struts, like a fucking rooster, and Clint rolls his eyes. Come on, that one was obvious, Clint complained. I really don't wanna assault you in your sleep. Worst idea ever, woke up on the ceiling with no memory of how I got there or how I was covered in glitter," I say and everyone nods. After a long mission in Russia, consisting of the entire team taking down a Hydra wannabe, the Avengers sat down in the lounging area to relax. Where you can ask anyway, even though you've done it? Tony seems to look mostly at Bruce, Natasha and Clint, since the two others haven't played this before. But she now was at a new school, with new friends and even a boyfriend. Muh?, I'm not gonna send you back into that elevator, Clint says and turns around, slides an arm around Tony's waist and guides him into his apartment. "Never Have I Ever been an animal themed superhero." Wanda said. I feel like Captain America, for crying out loud.. They just lie there, entangled, and slowly drift off. including: DC Character #wakanda Clint never liked those, more one for sharp, searing taste than soft sweetness himself (and wow, isn't that a metaphor for his life). Edit* I've decided to just make this one shots, not just field tr Do you know how once you are doing somethingyou instantlyknow you shouldn't have even thought about doing it? #deadpool Clint notices Natasha eyeing Tony with a sort of what do you see in that way. Yet, here she was wide awake with a pain in her back, her baby doing what felt like flips and her stomach growling. Yeah. They creep closer again, under the covers, until they're cocooning each other. Thor glances down at his jug of mead with a bemused expression. I live with my father in our bakery, my mother died when I was young, I've been plagued with horrific nightmares since I was little, and apart from my father, I've always been alone. No chance there. His hand's on Clint's hip now, and draws circles with rough fingertips. It's a strangely chaste kiss, for all the verbal bravado, and Clint leans into it. Pietro Maximoff/ Quicksilver C'mon., Tony looks up and doesn't pull back, which means he's close enough that Clint could count his eyelashes if he wanted to. It's Tony's turn so he said "never have I ever been drunk" Taking a shot. (Then again, Thor usually looks delighted.) Tony asked again, barely containing his laughter at the kids discomfort. Clint snorts into the good Captain's neck. "Okay, my turn. They were ready to get WASTED, with Vision on hand to make sure no one got alcohol poisoning. Devi Vishwakumar finally has it all. Im not judging your choice in venue.. Then again, Tony is equipped with a curiosity almost as big as his ego, and although people like Thor love boasting about their life and their past battles, Clint knows it's killing Tony to know so little about Natasha and Clint's pasts. Well, fuck, Tony says, and sounds a little strangled. Because I do. Requests open again! Right! "Never ever have I gotten a speeding ticket," Luke says and every adult including Ava takes a drink. I'll be updating Solangelo At Hogwarts before the end of today, hopefully close after this is up unless the art isn't attached. Okay, Tony says with a wolfish grin. and Flash was looking a bit, what was it? Flash exclaimed, laughing and ringing the bell. Right, yeah, that makes me feel a lot better, Tony huffs, but he doesn't move away. Youre going commando when you help little old ladies cross the street? Sam asked. Clint wonders, in the privacy of his own mind, if Tony actually did choose this game for team bonding and not just to determine the virginity of Captain America. Yes, Tony, Bruce says in his indulgent and slightly patronising tone, and Clint has another giggle-fit into Nat's shoulder. He had never been in a relationship before, the homecoming date with Liz a complete disaster. Team red, only being 16-17 had juice boxes. Yeah, wellnever have I ever had to ask someone if we had sex because I couldnt remember. Steve sheepishly said, moving the game along. Then Peter took a shot. Come oooon, he says now, and waggles his eyebrows in a seductive way that is about as sexy as the thought of Fury wearing a banana hammock. The Avengers were shocked. Wait, am I selling myself right here?, Clint chuckles.